The Allure and Perils of the “Trad Wife” Trend (as per Scientific Studies)

9 min readAug 6, 2024

The “trad wife” trend — a revival of traditional gender roles, where women embrace domesticity and submit to their husbands’ authority — has gained notable traction in recent years, particularly on social media platforms like TikTok and YouTube. Influencers such as Nara Smith, Estee Williams, and Hannah Neeleman have popularized this lifestyle, painting an idyllic picture of traditional wifely duties intertwined with personal fulfillment. Nara Smith’s carefully curated Instagram posts, Estee Williams’s YouTube vlogs, and Hannah Neeleman’s picturesque farm life paint a compelling, albeit romanticized, vision of traditional femininity.

Yet, beneath the veneer of charming vintage aesthetics and cheerful domesticity lies a stark and often grim reality. The “trad wife” lifestyle is not only challenging but is also perilous for women. The reality is that embracing this lifestyle leads to financial instability, mental illness, chronic and autoimmune diseases, and even dependency on government aid. Take a few tradwives influencers who initially portray themselves a seemingly perfect traditional life, later revealed to have significant struggles, including reliance on food stamps. This discrepancy highlights a critical issue: the harsh contrast between the glamorous portrayal of traditional domesticity and its often brutal realities.

Why does the “trad wife” phenomenon appeal to so many young women?

The allure lies in the promise of a simpler, more fulfilling life, where women’s roles are clear and valued. This romanticized vision offers an escape from modern complexities and pressures.

The reality is that this lifestyle requires considerable privilege, financial stability, and the luxury of choice — elements not accessible to everyone.

The Reality of the “Trad Wife” Lifestyle

Economic and Social Costs: For many, the “trad wife” lifestyle equates to a form of economic and social dependency. Traditional wives often relinquish their career ambitions and financial independence, which leads to severe consequences if their relationship falters. The reality of this lifestyle includes financial insecurity, limited career prospects, and a lack of pension security. Studies indicate that women who opt for full-time domestic roles may face significant income losses, diminished retirement savings, and fewer career advancement opportunities.

The health implications of adopting a traditional domestic role are severe. Women taking on the majority of household responsibilities report higher levels of stress, anxiety, and physical health issues. Chronic stress from managing domestic duties without adequate support leads to serious health conditions, including cardiovascular diseases and musculoskeletal disorders.

The transition from a traditional domestic role to reliance on social support is stark and jarring. For instance, Estee Williams, initially a staunch advocate of the “trad wife” lifestyle, experienced financial hardship and had to rely on food stamps — a far cry from the idealized image of traditional domestic bliss. This shift underscores the precarious nature of financial dependence on a single income and the limited safety nets available for those in such situations.

Despite the clear risks, many young women are drawn to the “trad wife” ideal. This appeal is often fueled by a longing for stability and simplicity in a world that feels increasingly complex and demanding. The trend capitalizes on a nostalgic vision of gender roles that promises clear purpose and fulfillment. Yet, this romanticization often obscures the significant costs associated with such a lifestyle.

The “trad wife” trend is not merely a harmless lifestyle choice but is seen as a vehicle for promoting regressive gender norms. Research by Proctor (2022) in “Persona Studies” explores how the #tradwife persona intersects with radicalized notions of domesticity, highlighting concerns about its implications for gender equality and individual autonomy.

Trad wife content is more about catering to male fantasies of control and subservience rather than genuinely addressing women’s desires and needs.

The romanticization of traditional roles often ignores the complexities and challenges that come with them, leading to a dangerous disconnect between idealized portrayals and real-life consequences.

The Illusion of Security

Financial Independence vs. Dependence

Income Loss: Women who embrace full-time domestic roles often face substantial financial losses. Research from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research shows that the income lost from taking a career break amount to up to four times a woman’s annual salary over a lifetime. This financial disadvantage becomes even more pronounced when considering the impact on retirement savings and long-term economic security.

Reduced Social Security Benefits: According to the Social Security Administration, women who take extended breaks from their careers may receive significantly reduced Social Security benefits in retirement.
Limited Job Opportunities: A study by the Harvard Business Review highlights that re-entering the workforce after a prolonged absence leads to difficulties in securing jobs that match prior salary levels and positions.
Skill Atrophy: Research from the Industrial and Labor Relations Review indicates that prolonged career breaks result in skill atrophy, making it challenging to compete in a dynamic job market.

Lack of Pension Security: The absence of a steady income and career progression lead to insufficient pension savings, as noted by the National Institute on Retirement Security. Women who spend years in domestic roles often face greater financial insecurity in old age, with fewer private pensions and increased reliance on spousal benefits.

Dependence on Spousal Benefits: The Center for Retirement Research at Boston College found that many women depend heavily on spousal pension benefits, which is often diminished or lost in cases of divorce or the spouse’s death.
Private Pension Disparities: The National Institute on Retirement Security reports that women are less likely to have private pensions, and when they do, these pensions are often smaller than those of men.
Health Care Costs: Research by the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement underscores the significant health care costs faced by women in old age, exacerbated by inadequate pension savings.

Economic Abuse: Financial dependence more often than not leads to economic abuse, where one partner controls finances to exert power over the other. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that economic abuse is a common tactic used by abusers, trapping victims in financially precarious situations.

Financial Control: The Domestic Violence Prevention Center notes that economic abusers often have complete control over household finances, restricting their partners’ access to money.
Forced Debt: A study by Rutgers University found that economic abusers sometimes force their partners into debt, further entrenching financial dependence.
Isolation Tactics: The Journal of Interpersonal Violence highlights that economic abusers use financial control to isolate their partners, limiting their ability to seek help or support.

Divorce and Financial Instability: Women who rely on a single income face significant financial instability in the event of divorce. Research from the University of Connecticut shows that women experience a 20% decline in income post-divorce, while men’s incomes often remain stable or increase.

Asset Division: Research from the American Sociological Review indicates that women often receive a smaller share of marital assets in divorce settlements, exacerbating financial instability.
Child Support Issues: A study in the Journal of Family Law highlights that women may face difficulties in obtaining adequate child support, further straining their financial situation.
Re-entering the Workforce: The Journal of Vocational Behavior found that women re-entering the workforce after divorce face challenges in finding comparable employment and regaining lost income.

Financial Security and Social Safety Nets: The precarious nature of the “trad wife” lifestyle underscores the need for robust social safety nets and financial planning. Research from the Journal of Public Economics highlights the importance of government programs, such as subsidized childcare and paid family leave, in supporting women’s economic stability.

Government Programs: The Journal of Public Economics emphasizes the role of government support in helping women achieve financial independence and stability.
Financial Planning: Research in the Journal of Financial Planning underscores the importance of proactive financial planning in mitigating risks associated with economic dependence.
Support Networks: The Journal of Family Theory & Review highlights the value of support networks in providing emotional and practical assistance to women facing financial challenges.

Mental and Physical Health Impact

Stress and Domestic Labor

Mental Health Issues: Women take on the majority of household responsibilities and often experience high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Research published in the American Journal of Public Health found that women managing extensive domestic duties report significantly lower life satisfaction and higher stress levels compared to those with more equitable arrangements.

Depression and Anxiety: The World Health Organization reports that women in traditional domestic roles are more susceptible to depression and anxiety, largely due to the stress of managing multiple responsibilities.
Burnout Syndrome: A study in the Journal of Health Psychology found that women with high domestic labor burdens are at greater risk of burnout syndrome, characterized by extreme fatigue and emotional exhaustion.
Marital Conflict: Research from the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that unequal distribution of household labor leads to increased marital conflict and dissatisfaction.

Physical Health Risks: Chronic stress from domestic labor also leads to physical health issues. The Journal of Occupational Health Psychology indicates that women with significant unpaid labor responsibilities are at higher risk for conditions such as hypertension and arthritis.

Musculoskeletal Disorders: The American Journal of Epidemiology highlights that repetitive household tasks increase the risk of musculoskeletal disorders among women.
Cardiovascular Disease: Research in the Journal of Women’s Health shows that the stress associated with managing domestic responsibilities contributes to a higher incidence of cardiovascular disease.
Immune System Suppression: A study from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that chronic stress from unpaid labor weakens the immune system, making women more susceptible to illnesses.

Emotional Labor: Beyond physical tasks, emotional labor — managing family emotions and resolving conflicts — adds another layer of stress. Research published in Gender & Society highlights that this emotional labor is often unrecognized and unrewarded, exacerbating feelings of exhaustion and resentment.

Emotional Burnout: The Journal of Marriage and Family emphasizes that high levels of emotional labor contribute to emotional burnout, with long-term mental health implications.
Relationship Strain: A study in Psychology of Women Quarterly found that unequal emotional labor burdens strain relationships, leading to dissatisfaction and higher rates of divorce.
Work-Life Balance: Research from the Journal of Family Issues shows that women performing significant emotional labor often struggle to maintain a healthy work-life balance, impacting their professional and personal lives.

The “trad wife” trend presents a seemingly appealing alternative to modern life’s complexities but often masks a harsh reality. The economic, health, and social challenges associated with traditional domestic roles are severe, particularly for women who lack financial independence and security. While the trend appeals to some young women seeking simplicity and purpose, it is essential to recognize the significant costs and risks involved. The romanticized image of traditional wifely duties often overlooks the financial instability, health issues, and social challenges that can accompany this lifestyle. Women must carefully consider these realities and strive for equitable partnerships that ensure their financial, emotional, and physical well-being.

References

Proctor, D. (2022). The #tradwife Persona and the Rise of Radicalized White Domesticity. Persona Studies, 8(2), 7–26.

Pew Research Center. (2020). Gender Discrimination Across Different Sectors.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. (2019). Objectification and Harassment of Attractive Women.

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. (2020). Workplace Harassment Statistics.

Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media. (2018). Media Representation of Attractive Women.

Psychological Science. (2017). Social Interactions and Beauty.

Institute for Women’s Policy Research. (2018). Economic Impact of Career Breaks on Women.

Social Security Administration. (2019). Social Security Benefits and Career Breaks.

Harvard Business Review. (2017). Job Opportunities After Career Breaks.

Industrial and Labor Relations Review. (2016). Skill Atrophy in Career Breaks.

National Institute on Retirement Security. (2018). Private Pension Disparities.

Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. (2019). Dependence on Spousal Benefits.

Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement. (2020). Health Care Costs in Old Age.

American Journal of Public Health. (2017). Mental Health and Household Chores.

World Health Organization. (2019). Depression and Anxiety in Women.

Journal of Health Psychology. (2018). Burnout Syndrome in Women.

Journal of Family Psychology. (2017). Marital Conflict and Household Labor.

Journal of Occupational Health Psychology. (2016). Physical Health Risks of Unpaid Labor.

American Journal of Epidemiology. (2019). Musculoskeletal Disorders from Household Tasks.

Journal of Women’s Health. (2018). Cardiovascular Disease and Stress.

Journal of Psychosomatic Research. (2017). Immune System Suppression from Stress.

Gender & Society. (2016). Emotional Labor in Gender Roles.

Journal of Marriage and Family. (2018). Emotional Burnout from Emotional Labor.

Psychology of Women Quarterly. (2017). Relationship Strain and Emotional Labor.

Journal of Family Issues. (2019). Work-Life Balance and Emotional Labor.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (2019). Economic Abuse Statistics.

Domestic Violence Prevention Center. (2018). Financial Control in Economic Abuse.

Rutgers University. (2017). Forced Debt in Economic Abuse.

Journal of Interpersonal Violence. (2016). Economic Abuse and Dependency.